craziness.

It's about that time where I feel completely overwhelmed by life. Hmmm. I should be doing laundry, which I hate but I am taking a breather for a few minutes. In two weeks I will be sailing away with my hubs, on a cruise boat, away from everyone, and everything. I cannot wait to have absolutely no agenda. My life lately consists of cooking, cleaning, working, working out, and just trying to figure everything out. Just when I catch up somewhere else, I am behind in another area and I don't know how some people have it all in place. Wow am I complaining!!!! It has just been a really stressful week and I will be glad when my workday tomorrow is over. Let me tell you this too. I am on this new diet and it is soo hard and I just need a soda or candy sooooooo bad haha!!! Oh well though, it must be working I lost 6 lbs in 3 weeks!!! Hopefully by my sister's wedding I will be at my goal. ANywho, I got things to do so I am going to go now! thanks for reading my first crazy post in a while!!!!

My first wedding anniversary!

Today, well yesterday technically, was my first wedding anniversary. Alex and I both had the day off and it was really nice. We slept in until 11:30!!! It was awesome. I stayed up the night before until 3 am, cleaning my house. I wanted it to be nice for our day off together. I know that sounds weird but a clean house makes me happy. And I was. I feel like all day we pretty much just reflected on our relationship, and talked about our wedding, and us. I felt soooo in love!!! He just looked so handsome to me, even while we played guitar hero world tour in our freezing cold basement, for like 2 hours in our jammies!!! We're dorks I know, but it was fun. All day I wanted Alex to know how much I love him, and how important my role as a wife is to him. We had an amazing day and I can't wait to have more!!!!! Oh, and I feel so loved!

So long 2008!!

How can one year of your life be the MOST AMAZING and the worst at the same time? The slowest yet the fastest year ever? The saddest but the happiest? I don't know it was definitely a crazy year.

I married the love of my life, and the ones who loved me so much divorced.---It hurt so bad. I know it took a lot from my happiness.

I love being married... but I would say the adjustments felt like so many at first, and I'm glad to say that I love being married now!!!

Our family might have divided but I grew closer to sisters...
I grew closer to in-laws...
and learned to appreciate them so much
because they took me in like their own daughter.

I lost a few clients, maybe because they moved away, or maybe wanted someone knew but I gained a lot of great new ones!!

Work had a few slower days, but I learned to appreciate a little extra time.

A lot of things broke this year, and had a lot of maintenance and spent our saved money for something FUN, but just blessed we had the cash to fix everything. And blessed I have a roof over my head as well.

My life has been crazy busy, I feel like I havent been there as much for friends like I should have because times where I wanted to be with friends, I couldn't. I've been hurt because I feel like I've been forgotten a lot. Maybe that's my fault, I don't know but I decided that 2009 was going to be different. I'm going to try to be more available, I'm going to try to get over a few things, Im going to love on ALex the most I can, love on my family regardless of how upset I've been and love on friends too.
This year is my year to love, not to hurt. yay 2009!!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving... a few days late.

This Thanksgiving was mine and Alex's very first Turkey day as a married couple. When we woke up, or when I woke up, I took a shower and started getting ready to go over to my mom's for breakfast, and I was actually excited because I knew I didnt have to work for a few days!!! YaY!! We were due over there at 10ish, and knowing my mom I knew if we showed up at like 10:30, that would be fine. At 9:30 I told Alex it was time to get up, and being the sleepy head that he is, he didnt listen. Then at 9:45, I told him again he needed to be up. I could feel myself getting crabby but I didn't want to be that way, so I acted fine. We made it over there by 10:30, and my mom wasnt even finished, so that was ok. Breakfast was tastey too! It was nice because my dad was there, so I got to spend time with him as well. We left to go to Springfield, Illinois to visit Alex's family. We had to eat a second meal there, but it was turkey dinner and not breakfast so it was easier to eat because it wasnt like eating the same thing twice. Luckilly I didnt PIG out each time so i was ok. I was fine til I started having mad stomache issues and had to use the bathroom a few times, which sucked but then it was time to leave. Due to my problem, I had to stop at a gas station because I was sooo uncomfortable using their bathroom... but dont worry, I was fine after that haha!!! So then we drove back to the Stl and went to my grandmas. It was fun there, besides the fact that we had to get there so late, but oh well. By that time, i only had food in my belly for my grandma's amazing fruit salad and I made us plates for leftovers the next day. By the time we got home, I watched some TV, went to bed and Alex asked me, "was this a good first thanksgiving being married?" and I dont know, I thought it was soo sweet because all day I wasnt really thinking of it like that, I didnt really have expectations like that. But it was, it was really special. We got along so well, even him being a slowpoke getting ready, or no fights in the car driving for a few hours.... it was a good day. I have so much to be greatful for. Even today we had to do a 4th Thanksgiving, and Alex went, no complaints or anything. I am so thankful for him. What a good first turkey day! or... weekend.

update on church!

Hey everybody... I just want to let you know that Alex and I have gone to church together 3 weeks in a row. To some of you, that's nothing but to me, it's a big deal. I have always been a regular churchgoer, but I would say since just before I got married, the number of times I went started to dwindle down. No reason really, other than that it was the only day I got to sleep in and like I said before, Alex works most Sundays and I would have to go by myself. Even in our dating relationship, we only went together every once in awhile and that was because for four years, he was away at school. So like I said, we made a decision that we would go every week, and so we have. I feel so much better. We are going to THE JOURNEY, and it's great for us. We found a neutral place to go, not his family's church, not mine, but this is ours and we are happy. My mood has even been better too! I just thought you would like to know that!!!!!!!!

a new day

I have been feeling very convicted lately because I haven't been going to church. It's kind of like exercising. When you have been on a regimen and you're working out all the time you don't want to skip a day. But, as you skip more days its easier to stop. Then you start noticing that you are packing on the pounds, you know it is time to get back on track. I used to go to church every Sunday and I felt horrible if I missed one day. But as it happens more often, the easier it was for me to miss it. Well, I am packing on the pounds with my relationship with God and I need to get back to my old regimen. Alex and I got up for church today and we decided that we will go every week if it means we have to go on a Saturday night if we cant go Sunday morning, or even Sunday night too. I know that church is important for me, and my marriage. And sometimes things come up, but I am definitely making sure its a way of life again.

my life.

Proverbs 12:25:25 Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

I just wrote a whole blog but I erased it because I felt like I would look crazy if I posted it. Look at the short passage I found and it speaks for itself. I've been struggling with anxiety lately, there is so much going on in my life and I feel like I always feel something in the pit of my stomache. There is so much worry and its about pleasing others. I try so hard and I need to relax. Can someone just keep me in their prayers, I just feel like I havent been good enough wife, sister, daughter, and friend and I need some reassurance that I am not as bad as I think I am.